By Daina Scarola
In light of all the scary media coverage on the latest influenza virus, I feel compelled to share a different perspective. A more positive perspective. If you do happen to catch the flu this season, it might not be all that bad. Here is an endearing story I read this week called 'Another View of The Flu' by Wendy Strgar that was posted on the Care2 Make a Difference website. It moved me because when I fell sick earlier this month I was able go home early from work and give myself permission to do absolutely nothing for the first time in almost a year. And I really needed that...
"The fear of the swine flu epidemic is gradually being replaced by the reality of it landing at home. I am not proud to admit that my children were the first to be diagnosed at their school in the first weeks of school and the last weeks of our Oregon Indian summer. As the final days of warm sunny weather teased, my children lay in bed too sick to notice. Thus far we have been through three versions of the swine, and the varied symptoms have taken on the colloquial “he’s swining big time” as all of their friends fall like dominoes to the illness. And although most of October is a blur of home remedies, I am relieved to not be worried about getting it anymore.
This is not to make light of the rare cases in which immune deficiency has real and frightening costs. There are enough exceptions to the typical swine course and an alarming number of secondary infections that warrant careful attention. Still, with the continuous mass media warnings and the mass of flu shots being distributed without full testing, it is easy to see how panic can build. Treating this new illness with love, which is to say the opposite of fear, might provide some insights and maybe even make the experience a teacher. This flu infection moves fast and goes into the chest deeply. This is a time to protect and love the immune system by applying all of the standard wellness advice about eating well, sleeping enough and getting regular exercise and fresh air. Supplementing with multi-vitamins, Vitamin C and Vitamin D3 as well as herbal formulas like Echinacea is another effective way to support your immune system.
Yet, even with all the remedies I had on hand, once in the system, the flu progressed and all my kids got sicker. Their fevers spiked high for the first couple of days and our home became the center of life again in the way it is on holidays. The schedule was off, no one was going anywhere and they all wanted company and assurances. It had been years since I lay in bed for an afternoon nap with any of my children as they are all in their teens, but this week the swine flu had us in bed falling asleep in the early afternoon light of autumn.
I welled up with the tenderness of the moment, as I lay next to my son, his hand in mine, and reflected that this might well be the last time I held my adolescent son’s hand as he fell asleep beside me. Even my high school senior had all his hard edges soften as we went through several linen changes per day. He was contemplative and wanted to share his thoughts, giving me a chance to hear him as I hadn’t in months. My youngest daughter curled around me and held onto me like an anchor to life through her feverish nights.
Don’t get me wrong, the swine flu is a tenacious and lively virus. It takes days after you are well to really get over it and doing too much can easily lead to relapse, but given its proper respect, this flu can also put things in perspective.
Dealing with any illness forces you to recognize that the central axis of life is health. There really is nothing else that life can give us or that we can give it, without the amazing and often taken for granted experience of well being. The day my 13- year-old son left the house again after 5 days confined, he exclaimed at the color of the trees, the bigness of the fields and skies. It was like watching him see it for the first time. Illness reorganizes our priorities and focuses our attention on the pieces of life that matter most. The tenderness of life is always right next to us. Illness sets that tenderness apart, holds it up to the light of day. If we are lucky we don’t just get well, we get fresh eyes to see how well we really are."
Wendy Strgar is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love and family. Wendy helps couples tackle the questions and concerns of intimacy and relationships, providing honest answers and innovative advice. As her online presence continues to grow, Wendy has become a trusted and respected source of information on lasting and healthy relationships. “I feel like I am inventing a language to give intimacy back to the people, take the fear away and open a space for physical love to serve as the glue that holds relationships together.” Wendy lives in Eugene, Oregon with her husband, a psychiatrist, and their four children ages 11-20.